Jealousy

It's been a long time since I've posted. A very long time. It's just, the thing is, I don't often view blogging as a priority, and as a result it's pushed to the bottom of my list. Even when I have nothing urgent or necessary to do, I often forget about blogging altogether or don't know what to blog about.

Anyways, I decided to write today to discuss my recent observations about jealousy. I've realized it's been building up in me for a while, and when I started to question it, it made no sense that I should be jealous, and in being jealous I was being selfish, in a way. Let me explain:

Just recently, as in the past few months, I've just now seemed to realize how strong the relationship is between two of my friends. I began to wish that I lived in their neighborhood and felt left out whenever their away messages on IM indicated they were at each others houses. They only had one class together at school, and I was in that class, so sometimes I felt like I wasn't being included as much and the conversation was often between them two, opposed to me as well. One of these friends is moving soon, and that may also have caused some of these feelings.

In analyzing it, I realized I was very wrong. I should be happy that they have such a great relationship. It's not like I'm not also their friend because they're friends. You're allowed to have more then one great friend. It doesn't decrease the relationship I have with them, unless I allow my jealousy to decrease it. I shouldn't be so selfish to think I deserve the closest relationship and the most attention from each of my friends, and refuse to believe I will be happy with a relationship unless it is the best one the other person had. It's a very self-centered way of thinking, and it's wrong.

So now I'm not jealous. And it feels so much better. I realize now what great friends I have. Friends that talk with me, laugh with me, and spend time with me. Friends that I am so blessed to have. God is good all the time, and all the time God is good.

†God Bless†

Bria